Growing up

On The Day Your Ex Gets Married


I'm entering my fifth year of blogging. I don't talk about it, ever, but those five years = two serious boyfriends. 

Blog Boyfriend #1 got married a few weekends ago.  I didn't expect to feel any way about it. I knew it was happening, and I knew the date it was happening, but I kind of thought the page would just fall away from my mental calendar without a second glance. I mean, I live 2000 miles across the country, and I've only kept contact with one or two of our mutual friends in the three years since our break up. There was a very small chance I could stumble on a photo from the big day on social media -- but even then, I'd have to go searching for it.

I didn't think I would notice. 
But guys, the day came, and it was WEIRD.

So, how should you feel on the day your Ex is getting married? Any way you damn please. It's strange to think about someone you once shared your life with, permanently pledging their life to someone else. 

I am so, very happy in my current relationship. I am so, so thankful for my past relationships that brought me here. I feel good that my Ex found a fulfilling life partner. But it's still weird.

So, on the day your Ex gets married, here's what I suggest:

  • Acknowledge it. It's happening. It's weird. You noticed it & that doesn't mean anything besides the fact that you're a human being. 
  • Be grateful. I believe in fate, which means your Ex is your ex for a reason. There's something else in store for you.
  • It's okay to be a little nostalgic.
  • But don't forget the reasons it didn't work.
  • If you ARE dating someone, be honest with them! I told my current boyfriend what was going on. He nodded. He said, "Yea, I bet that IS weird."  And then we had an amazing day. We ate donuts, hung out with friends, took blog photos, drank too much coffee, followed it up with a few dark and stormies, chatted, walked, explored the city. It wasn't until the end of the day, laying sunburnt in my bed, that my mind wandered back to the wedding, just for a fleeting second.
  • If you're NOT dating someone: make plans! There are a lot of people in your life in the present. There's no reason to dwell in the past. 

And know this: when your Ex pledges his life to another woman, well there's no more permanent kind of closure in the world! Ha!

Photo: Nikond3200 35mm / Edits: Adobe Lightroom and Photoshop

Questions from a 20-something: vol 3

We’re young. We’re learning. There are still some life skills that need to be fixed. Which reminds me, my skirt just ripped -- is there any way to fix it?

There are a lot of questions I have on the daily, some answers are an easy google search away. Some, though, are harder and more thought provoking. But you know what? I usually figure it out, and I thought you might benefit from what I’ve found. So here we go: five of my recent questions AND answers. 

SF view of China Beach

Can you post emojis from your mac keyboard? 

YES! From the new macs, anyway. Press control + command + spacebar inside a text field (tweet, Facebook post, etc) to open up an old version of the emoji keyboard that is on your iPhone. Warning: the emojis will probably change to the format of your platform. ie: in gchat they change to the gchat emojis.. which are equally awesome and sometimes animated.

Can I freeze glass

Food expands when it freezes, so as long as you leave room for it to expand, your glass should be fine. To be safe, go with tempered glass or canning jars. My glass storage containers from Bed Bath and Beyond are freezer safe. Or you could also freeze individual meal portions of soup (or whatever) in plastic bags for easiest future dinner options. When you’re ready to eat, simply run warm water over it for thirty seconds or so, cut the bag and warm in a soup pan! 

How do you "Hand Wash" clothes?

I have an embarrassingly huge section of my closet filled with dirty clothes that are waiting to go to the dry cleaner or are marked "hand wash only." Now. Sometimes I risk it and wash these clothes with all my other gear. But, this weekend I'm going to try to hand wash. Here's what to do (I just looked it up): Fill up your sink with warm water (or what it says on the label). Add a teaspoon of detergent. Submerge and gently swish around the clothing . Drain the sink and refill with cool water. Push the item up and down until the soap is gone. Done. <source>

my tiny apartment is so damp, what can I do?

Hi there, El Nino. How long are you planning to hang out? Guys. My apartment is old and DAMP. I'm not kidding. Usually, I can keep the windows open and things are fine, but when it's raining for 10 days in a row...... buy a dehumidifer. It is the only answer. I got this little guy on Amazon and haven't turned it off for about 6 weeks. No joke. I have to empty it out about every other day, but when it's raining outside and my windows are closed, this little puppy keeps things dry.

How do I add line breaks in my instagram bio?

Omg, I have been SO jealous of the people that do that:


#hastags #allunderthecaptionbreak #line.

So how do you do it? NOTES! Yea, go on your iPhone Notes app and write out your hashtags how you want them to appear. Copy and paste to Instagram and your line breaks will hold. Also works in your insta bio 😉. <source>

Have a question? Let me know! I bet I can figure it out :D & in the meantime, let me know if you found any of these useful. 

Photo: Nikond3200 zoom kit lens / Edits: Adobe Lightroom

On Saying Goodbye

Girl at sunset

I guess, as we get older, the more life we experience, the more deeply we love, and the more deeply we lose. It makes living life an incredibly intense and satisfying experience, and it makes losing someone very painful.

When I moved to California, I left most of my deep loves in Ohio. In these six short months, I've experienced two great losses. Grieving from two thousand miles away is not an easy task. But, grieving from two feet away is no easier.

In my opinion, saying goodbye is the hardest thing we will ever have to do. Especially when the loss happened too soon. It seems unfair, and leaves us asking questions we can't always find answers to. 

But it gives us lessons, too. Like these: Life is short, love fiercely. People are warm, hug tightly. Money is to fly home unexpectedly, save wisely. And when the rains come down, and they don't stop, and life feels hard: crack open a cold one with the people you love. For when life brings you down, friends will hold you up. 


Questions from a 20-something: vol 2

We’re young. We’re learning. There are still some life skills that need some tuning up. Which reminds me: does Wd40 work on all metals? Does it stain?

There are a lot of questions I have on the daily, some answers are an easy google search away. Some, though, are harder and more thought provoking. But you know what? I usually figure it out, and I thought you might benefit from what I’ve found. So here we go: five of my recent questions AND answers. 

peaceful kitchen

How long does it take to cool a room temperature diet coke in the freezer?

A can of coke should cool down in the freezer in about 20-25 minutes. It will take half that time if you put it in a bucket of ice instead. It will half that time if you add water to the ice and half that time if you add salt to the water. So you’re looking at a perfectly cooled soda in 25 minutes in a freezer or 2 minutes in a salted-water-ice bucket. via 

Can a sinus infection cause your teeth to hurt? 

Yes! My recent sinus infection put me out of commission all week. To top it off, I thought I had a cavity in addition to my symptoms! Turns out it's all related. Phew.

What's the right amount of time to keep a toothbrush?

3-4 months. But also replace it after every illness, regardless of how new it is. I've heard of people re-catching their own germs from their toothbrush after being sick.

What are the best podcasts to listen to on a commute?

Gimlet media's Start Up and Reply All. TED Radio Hour. Serial. PBS Newshour. I listen to each of these every week :D

Shoot. My eggs are expired.. can I still eat them?

Check with the float test! Place your eggs in a bowl of water. If they float -- don't eat them! If they stand on the bottom, they're still good. If they lay on their side at the bottom, they're very fresh. Via.

Got a question? I'll look it up! Just shoot me a note. Photo: Nikond3200 / Edits VSCO Filters for Lightroom.

Questions from a 20-something

We’re young. We’re learning. There are still some life skills that need to be nailed. Which reminds me, what’s the proper way to nail into drywall, anyway? What happens when the plaster literally separates from the wall? 

There are a lot of questions I have on the daily, some answers are an easy google search away. Some, though, are harder and more thought provoking. But you know what? I usually figure it out, and I thought you might benefit from what I’ve found. So here we go: five of my recent questions AND answers. 

Does food lose nutritional value when you freeze it?

No! For the most part. Food that is frozen at peak nutritional value will not lose any value when frozen. Even self frozen food. Good, right? I freeze my bread a lot.

Should you buy gifts for every wedding shower and wedding you’re invited to?

Yes, this is polite. Even if you can’t go? Still. How much should you spend? Apparently, for the wedding, you should cover the cost of your dinner at the reception. That varies, I know. As a general rule, at our age I think we can slide by with $50. What if that's too much for your wallet? I have a LOT of friends getting married, like, a lot. (yay!) So I'm trying to get creative with my gifts. Your friends understand. Any nice note and thoughtful gift will show your love and appreciation.

Can you order groceries on Amazon?

YES! Some. But there is also a new service I’ve been hearing about called instacart. It has some amazing VC backing. I got a direct mail piece (old school effective!) promoting their partnership with Whole Foods. Then the next day, I saw them announce a partnership in Minneapolis with Target. I think they are only in a few cities right now... Including SF. About to try it out fo sho.

Which form of caffeine will affect me the fastest?

My coffee connoisseur of a sister told me, as far as coffee goes at least, a Black or Red Eye gets the most in your system the fastest. That's one cup of coffee with the addition of a shot (or two) of espresso. Now as far as the battle between coffee, soda, energy drink, etc.. I'm not sure. Do you know? 

 Are elephants like super smart?

Apparently so.  That's probably why it is a compliment to say: "You have the memory of an elephant." Neat.

So that's all for now! I'm a never ending spout of questions though, so I'll have more for you coming up. And if you have any questions to add to my list, send them on over! :D

Photo: iPhone5s / Edits: Snapseed and VSCOcam